One of the things I rarely did while my dad was sick, was read. I'm thankful for that... becuase right now it's the ony thing I can seem to do without balling my eyes out from memories. I can't play WoW because I'm reminded of the many hours playing while I cared for my dad at the bros house. I try to play. I try to enjoy it, but I'm flooded with emotions and memories and it just hurts so much, so I just can't play that (at least not right now).

I can't go shopping (we tried on Monday and I balled my eyes out the whole time). I am just reminded of all the times I'd bug the parents to get out of the house and to go shopping with me (just to get them doing something). It felt so utterly empty without my dad's bright prescence (even scowling as he noticed all the money my mom was spending *chuckle*) ...

Everything ... every breath hurts.

Today we went to the bank to clear up his name on the accounts. Have things moved into only my mother's name and God that was so hard. The poor bank teller looked awful by the time we left because mom wouldn't stop crying, and I was just holding it all back, waiting to get outside and in the van before I broke down.

This is what life comes down to. Erasing him like he never existed just so the government cant take what he rightfully worked so hard for, but didn't even get to fucking enjoy. But he existed and was every part of me.... and I miss him so fucking much.

So I've been reading. I read one whole book in ten hours (straight). It helped that the book was pretty amazing and I didn't want to put it down.



So here's my first book of 2016, that I've read. I made a goal of 10 for the year, because who knows if I'll keep reading or what.

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


I cannot remember the last time a book drew me in and kept me hook like this one did. I was enveloped in the world Bardugo built, her characters came to life on the pages, and I couldn't put it down. So much so I literally read this whole thing in ten hours (straight).

I typically hate books that are narrated from different point of views (different characters), but Bardugo did it with such ease and it all flowed so naturally that I actually loved it. If you like non-stop action, on your toes suspesense and a world unlike any other out there... with characters that truly make you feel the feels... I highly recommend this book.

I'm irked the next one isn't out until September!



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